In the End
by Azurana K
Summary: I will love you forever, even after what you have done to me....But in the end it won't matter anymore...Complete Summary Inside. SxS,ExT,OCs present.AU.


**_Title: In the End_**

_**Author: Azurana K.**_

**_Genre: Angst/Drama/Tragedy_**

_**Summary: **I will love you forever, even after what you have done to me. I will be protecting you from enemies and anything else that may come your way. Like an angel, your guardian angel, which has done wrong by doing things for your happiness, but in return, it causes other people pain, and it gives me sorrow; but I'll be alright so long as I could see your smile. I am a sinful person, who has gotten absolutely crazy because of love. I do not expect you to love me back; all I want from you is to be happy. And I will do everything to fulfill that dream, even kill someone. But in the end, it won't matter anymore._

**_Disclaimer:_** _I don't and will never own Card Captor Sakura. I'm just a girl who's bored with school and doesn't care about life. I also do not own the story and chapter titles, but just to remind you, I still own this story and its plot, please don't take them away._

**_Author's Notes:_** _It's been a while since I wrote another CCS fic, ever since "**My Studies, My Sickness and this Stupid Engagement"** (which got deleted) and "**It's not what it looks like"** (which I deleted), I've been focusing more on my Gakuen Alice fics. Sorry, to my Gakuen Alice readers, an update on "**Shrouding Life" **and "**Beneath My Many Faces" **has to wait…_

_**Warnings:** Shounen – ai is found in this story between two of **my** OC-s, nothing more and nothing less. Bad language is found here and some **speeches** (As in, what the characters say. But other than that, if you find it anywhere else, please report it to me.) are implied to have bad grammar. A 'not nice' Syaoran will also be found in this story. Sick humor is also featured in this fic. Sakura's almost completely OCC and the plot also turns right, left and backwards; I will not be straight to the point. The genres angst and tragedy are taken seriously by this author, so the story will contain these contents for better or for worst. Slow updates are also natural, don't expect much. I will not spoil anyone regarding the story chapters; you have to wait. That's long enough for the warning; anyway if you don't like then don't read. I almost forgot, expect drama and sap (twitches). _

_(…) – The content of the open and close parenthesis, **in** the story, is an Author's note, just to inform you._

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**Chapter One: (It starts with…)**

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Shadows, they are the only things that hide me.

They hide me from unknown people, from cruel and vile words, from the media, from my relatives, from my life and from my unrequited love.

The shadows are the only things that I could trust. They could never betray you. They would follow you wherever you go. They could never leave you; they can't survive without you and the best part of it all is that they'd never utter a word.

But nothing and no one's perfect, so it must also have a flaw. Its fault is something so simple to everyone else but something so big for me. It's something that separates it from us people and life; it does not live. It's only a thing that could appear and fade away, that is its lonely flaw, and I despise it.

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I looked up, towards the dull grey sky.

The sun is more tedious than usual. Its rays are weak, tainted with shades of black and grey. The thick dull clouds are starting to envelop the sun's sad, yellow smile, darkening the already fogging sky. The birds are scattered everywhere in the distant, dreary horizon, trying to find shelter to cover themselves from the upcoming heavy falls of water.

Looking down at the people in the school's gardens, most of them seem to not have noticed the slowly alterations of the weather conditions. But the people, who are at least a tad bit observant, seeing the sky become so dreary, went inside so as to shield themselves with the assist of the school's protective roofs.

But it is better for me that people were this much dense of their surroundings. It would then be easier for me to lurk around the school's hallways, unseen…

My gaze fell down to my right wrist, where a black digital watch lay. Its screen read the numbers of 7:00; school will start in no less than one hour and 15 minutes.

While scanning the area for flaws that might ruin my cover, my gaze landed on the sound of happy, laughing teenage girls beneath me, whom I recognize as my third year senpais - Maaya Sakamoto; Yoko Kanno and Yuki Kaida, and suddenly a thought flashed through my head.

'I have never once tasted or known childhood and happiness, from when I was born and to what I will come of in the very near end.'

---

The wind cooled down, fragrance of sweet autumn flowers danced with the soft, cool breezes of the wind.

A calm, laid-back aura came in from the school's gates, taking my breath away. Each step his black leather shoes took makes my heart skip a beat. His beauty will never fail to amaze me, even if he wears the school's white polo and black slacks uniform. His deep amber eyes will never stop to enchant me and his presence will never fail to make me happy.

He casually takes a step at a time with his hands inside his pants' pockets. His ears are too occupied with the, probably alternative, music his black I-pod Video is playing.

He takes his time walking, not at all concerned of the way people are staring at him; he is used to it after all. But if he does not hurry-up, he'll get soaked by the rain and I don't want him to get sick.

Sighing, I took-out my 15' by '10-inch: 3.46GHz, KTDBook (Kinomoto Technology Department) – Kinomoto branded laptop from my laptop bag; it's our company's test product. Flipping the screen open, I turned it on by caressing the touchpad (It's the mouse in a laptop, also known as a trackpad.) using my thumb. The screen blinked, identifying my thumbprint, and there appeared a small black window asking me for my username, password and my laptop's security code, in bold, red Monotype Corsiva writings.

I typed the needed information and pressed the enter button. The monitor blinks again, revealing to me my laptop's black background. I pressed some things on the soft black keypad, and another window appeared. Its background is fully engulfed in the color black, like everything that I owned is. I have typed a bunch of codes and pressed the enter button. A smaller window appeared, assuring me if I really want my command to be executed. I pressed the enter button and it started uploading the command to my school's main CPU. It'll be done and over with in five to six minutes.

A hanging silence suddenly surrounded the school's gardens; it made me feel anxious and uncomfortable. So, I made the wisest decision I could make at that time, I peeped down the gardens and checked what was going on. There I saw Nagai Tomoko, the most popular girl in school, due to her parents' success in the music and entertainment industry. Swaying her hips as she walked; her perfectly straight, long black hair swayed and bounced along her movements. Her pale white skin, which made people think that she is beautiful, even though she isn't, became dry because of the dull weather. She reminds me of a taller, older, uglier and bitchier version of Enma Ai from the anime series Jigoku Shoujo, not that Enma's any bit of ugly and bitchy.

She was walking seductively towards the only reason I haven't just killed myself. My heart skipped a beat. Damn it, go away Nagai.

Don't let her get near you; don't let her seduce you because I don't want you to fall for a cheap trick created by an unprofitable bet. So please don't let her get to you, your pride might get crushed by a mindless wager that can offer nothing to anybody involved in it.

Get away from the light of my world, Nagai. He's already been through enough in his childhood days. And now he has risen into a steadfast figure, worthy of more than what the world can offer. So please, don't destroy his present life anymore. I can't bear to look at his tears, if they were to fall…

I need to get him out of there, but how will I?

I suddenly remembered what I had done before I got my mind pre-occupied of that girl.

I turned back and checked my laptop's screen, the window read two minutes. Yes, just a little bit more…

I looked back to the garden to see how far Nagai was to him and to my dismay; I saw that she was already so near him.

"Hey, you're Syaoran Li, right?" I heard her say through the bugs (It's not literal. I mean to say that it's some sort of small spy ware equipped with microphones and video cams.) I placed all around the campus.

"**_To all the students of Musashi Junior and Senior High School, _**

**_We would like to inform you that at any minute soon water shall be falling down from the sky. Please go inside of the buildings, otherwise you'll get soaked by the rain."_**

"_**I repeat.**_

**_We would like to inform you that at any minute soon water shall be falling from the sky…." _**The woman's voice in the PA system of the school repeated again for five times.

It' great that he didn't hear her soft, slut-like voice because of the blaring music caused by his I-pod; but he, fortunately, heard the announcement of the school. He calmly walked past her now gaping face and entered the school. The other students followed soon after him, while Nagai-san was left on her own cursing as she went.

I placed my things in my black laptop bag and left the building's roof deck. Not forgetting to close it, using the key the school gave me.

It seems like I will always be the villain in this story, keeping girls away from you. I'm so sorry, Syaoran. You see, two people who are together will cause a downfall for the other, shattering the weaker and hardening the stronger. And I, as a person who truly loves you, will not let you break or solidify, because if I really do love you, then I will do everything in my power to make sure that no unhealthy damage will be done upon you. If you end up either as the weaker or as the stronger, I won't be able to see your smiling, amused face, so it is best, that you won't become neither. Just be your ordinary self, so you won't get hurt, like what had happened to me when we were young; and so you won't be hurt, like what you have done to me when we were children.

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I lowered my head as I entered the hallways, letting my dyed black hair cover my face. It isn't as if anyone will be able to notice me - that would definitely be impossible, since not one student here knows of my existence. It is just a cover-up; to be sure that no one will ever come my way.

I reached our classroom that was still empty, and sat down on my seat, which was located at the back and at the corner of the room, where shadows were enshrouding it. As minutes pass by groups of students started filling the room. After a couple more minutes their group came in, with heads high and pride held presences. Like always, he was upfront, but today he still has his earphones on. They walked casually and sat at their usual places, in the middle row beside the window.

"Ugh… I wanna ditch classes today." I heard Katsuo Uchida whine from the earphones I was wearing, which was where the bugs sent the data after being recorded. As his hand combed his short, curly, dark brown hair, while his black eyes looked out of the window.

"You always wanna ditch classes, stupid." Lazily retorted Shunichi Hitsukato, as his pale hand flicked his straight, shoulder length, olive green hair, while his auburn eyes rolled.

"That's so not true!" objected the infuriated Uchida-san.

"Actually, it's quite true…" Was softly said by Hikari Mashida, whose lovely cerulean blue eyes were diverted to them from the book she was reading.

"True, it's, you know, almost like a daily routine for all of us." Eriol Hiiragizawa said shrugging his shoulders, while his sapphire eyes, which were covered by round, thin framed glasses, only held amusement.

"Can we talk about another topic? This one's really getting weird." The melodic voice of Tomoyo Daidouji sang as her right hand's fingers played with the long, pale blonde, curly hair of Mashida-san.

"Syaoran, where's Meiling?" Hiiragizawa-san asked, as his beautiful blue eyes scanned their group. 

"…" He didn't reply, since he was still too engrossed with his I-pod's music to hear what his second cousin was asking him.

"Syaoran?" Mashida-san was now the one to ask; in the process she placed her book down and moved her head. Thus also making my, unknowing, second cousin, Daidouji-san, turn her head in annoyance of the fact that the only thing that kept her bored fingers busy moved away; and ask Syaoran the same question, trying to ease out her irritation in the same process by speaking louder.

"…" But still they didn't receive an answer. That's when Uchida-san's span of patience, not that it was even a bit long, ran out.

"Syaoran Li, are you listening to us!?!?" Was what he shouted.

"…" Still there was no answer.

"Are you people, stupid? His I-pod is in its max volume; I can even hear it from here. And also, his eyes are closed, how is he going to know that you are talking to him?" That was the smart reply, which was always expected from Hitsukato-san.

"So… Um, what are we gonna do?" Uchida-san asked out of sheer stupidity.

"Obviously, we'll take off the earphones." Tomoyo said tucking a loose strand of her long, smoky violet, curly hair behind her pierced ear.

And they did take the earphones off, making his eyelids open and reveal annoyed amber eyes.

"What the hell was that for!?" He hissed at them, narrowing his amber eyes into a glare.

"Hey, we're the ones who's supposed to get pissed, not you. We have been trying to get your attention for almost an hour now!" Uchida-san shouted at him.

"Don't start lying to me, idiot. If it was already after almost an hour, then that teacher would have been here already, inside the classroom, but unfortunately for you, I can't even see a single strand of her hair." He said waving his right hand in front of Uchida-san's face.

"So, what did you want?" He added placing his I-pod in his pants' pocket, as Uchida-san pouted dejectedly.

"Yeah… I almost forgot." Hiiragizawa-san stated as he combed his smooth, dark blue, uncombed hair. "Where's Meiling?"

"…" He didn't say anything, but the cockiness and the color of his face dropped.

"Syaoran?" Daidouji-san asked, being the one in the group who was closest to Meiling.

"She…She--" He stuttered; and mind you, Syaoran Li doesn't stutter.

"Syaoran, what happened to her?" Mashida-san asked, her voice quivering in worry.

"She…She…" Syaoran stuttered again.

"Stop stuttering, Syaoran. Just tell us what the hell happened to Meiling!" Uchida-san shouted, his patience, yet again, blew a fuse. Everyone now was staring at them, but because of Hitsukato-san's glare everyone returned to what they were doing before the human volcano, Uchida-san, erupted.

"She… She couldn't go to school because of digestion problems." Syaoran said in a low voice, which had a mix of disgust in it.

"…" At first no one said a thing…

"What the hell! Only that and it took you so long to say it! What kind of prank are you pulling on us, bastard!?" Uchida-san shouted, making everyone yelp in surprise. His pointing finger was directly pointed unto Syaoran, as if pointing him as a murderer for the cops to arrest.

"Calm down, Kasu." Syaoran said using the nickname he created for his dear, fiery friend.

"Mmmph…mphhh…" Uchida-san tried to say behind the palm of his boy friend, Hitsukato-san.

Yes, they're gay (I told you in the warning.). No one else knows that except the people in their group and me the outsider, you can call me Syaoran's stalker.

"That will always be a luscious-type of bonding for a couple; that, which is namely, the hand and the mouth." Hiiragizawa-san said; his eyeglasses shinning, hiding the, probably, sadistic shimmer in his blue eyes, that can creep anyone up. (I won't ever tell you, people, what this statement means. Find out for yourselves, besides I'm totally grossed of speaking about it.)

Hitsukato-san glared at him fully, knowing that that statement meant something absurdly malicious, while Uchida-san's face turned into a huge tomato. Syaoran snickered at the green-minded riddle, while Mashida-san's cheeks twitched with disgust. Hiiragizawa-san was then seen being pounded with a broom by his now red girl friend, Daidouji-san, as she shouted at him for having such a perverted mind. While I still remain as impassive as ever, even though I know that that was such a 'sexual' riddle. If I were to react, they will find out about me and besides, it's not something to actually get hyped-up about.

The door suddenly opened and the teacher finally came in; everybody calmed down and sat at their respective places. Everyone almost laughed, Suzuki Nayami-sensei's prided long, dark auburn, straight hair was soaked with water and her white and beige suit was in no better state. Her tanned skin paled, due to too much time out in the cold, hard rain. Her dark brown eyes and her face screamed, 'this is so not my day, so back-off.', preventing all the students from insulting her.

She went to her desk, which was located in front of the room; sat down and brought out her wet attendance book. Calling us one by one, eyes hardening at every student but when she was done calling everybody her eyes landed on me; they softened and had that pitiful spark in them. I knew she couldn't see me but she knew me, all the teachers knew of me, but I had forbidden all of them, even the staff, to mention my name or tell any student that a person like me does exist.

I know I'm spoiling myself because I have huge amounts of money, power and an amazingly huge status in the world, but what's money and power for, if you don't use it for your own selfish purposes? That was what my real father told me before he killed himself. I know deep down inside that I do not believe any of what that statement says is right, but I always made it a cover so no one will ever want to go deeper, because selfish people aren't worth anybody's time.

But here I was in the dark abyss, with her compassionate brown eyes staring directly into the darkness, which I am. It was as if she was trying to find a door or pathway in the dark tunnels and caverns found underground. She isn't supposed to stare at me with soft eyes, no she shouldn't. She's supposed to look at me with hard eyes, the emotions of despise and disgust reflecting them, not the emotions of worry and… and… pity…

I hate being pitied; it makes me feel as if I am weak. It makes me feel that all the hardships I have been through and I am having now are too much for me to handle. It's as if, I am making wrong choices and doing incorrect actions for my life, not that I think I have a life in anyway at all.

I kept hold of my breathing until her eyes diverted mine, as she started a lecture about a book called 'Little Prince'. I looked outside of the window, where the rain still continues to fall rapidly. There is no use listening to the discussion, I already read that book for five times and discussed its content seven times with my past English and Literature professors when I was ten years old, being home studied; besides the teacher won't ever dare call me to recite, because they were, as I've said before, forbidden to do that.

---

The rain was my tears, so when they fall then I am crying, if they do not I'm just my usual mysterious self. It also cleanses me of my many wrong deeds and faults. I know of how much pain I have been inflicting on people and I know how many sins I have committed. I am a devoted catholic, but can you still say that if you find out what I have done?

I roam the world of lies, tears, pain, guilt, sorrow, blood and never ending death, yet I haven't at least tried to get away from it. I have numerous of offers, free tickets, my own planes and jets, yet not once have I moved away from such a dreadful place. I can always go to the other world and live a life more than the word luxurious could describe. Yet, I still stay here, never giving myself even a little bit of light. My home in this dark world is found in the darkest cities, where all dark, dreadful people live. Sometimes these people are just too dark and cruel, that they make my body hairs stand.

Suddenly, the school bell rang for the fourth time today, dismissal. I waited for everyone to leave, which took them all thirty minutes. I sneaked out of the hallways, since I know that the students, who still had clubs to attend to, were still in the school's buildings. Well, at least Syaoran doesn't have soccer practice today because of the weather.

I walked silently to the back door and opened it using one of the keys the school gave me. When I had gotten out of the building, I again used the keys to close the doors. I quickly threw-off the construction cloth that covered my black _2007 Triumph Daytona 675 _motorcycle,strapped my bag onto my ride, put on my black helmet, hopped on the seat, turned on the engine and sped out of the school, through the murky alleyways, the school kindly provided me with. Swerving left to right; I felt soft drops of water rinse me and my soul, as the harsh wind pulled me backwards, to the light. Yet I still go on forward where the darkness is, because that's the only way I can make you happy.

I was in sight of the huge, solid, black, metal gates of my house. It began to open as I got near, when I already got in, it closed behind my back, like what I do to everyone else. Putting that thought aside, I went pass the beautiful, huge gardens of my house and curved the driveway leading me to my elegantly carved front door; I stopped there. I took-off my helmet, leaving it on the seat and took my bag. I walked casually to the door and took no time to look back at my servants, as they greeted me with warm, welcoming smiles.

My hand was already placed on the doorknob, when my thoughts inside the classroom flashed in my mind. I smirked to myself.

I will never leave this dark world, because in the end I know that I will always come back to where I came from, and that is here...

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**__**Author's Notes: **-Sigh- that was so long, not only that but it also sucked too! I can't believe that I finished more than a half of it in a day. Well, I hope I didn't bore you…_

_There were four female guests that appeared in this chapter, I bet you can guess who they were…_

_Just to inform you, the way their names are being introduced is - first before the last name. It's also being told in first person, so it's not my POV._

_The school and motorcycle mentioned in this story are not fictional, but the KTDBook is fictional._

_You know what I actually intended it's title to be 'Love Behind The Shadows', but then when I was writing down stuff about this story in a piece of paper, while I was listening to my I-pod, the song 'In The End' – by: 'Linkin Park' came up. I suddenly started to relate my story plot to the song's lyrics and they were a total match! So, I told myself 'why not just name the story and chapter titles after the song?'_

_So sorry, I was rambling there. Anyway, I hope you'll get entertained by this story._

_Thanks for the advices, Iv-chan!_

**_Mind you, I am not forcing you to review but if you do then that would be great. I accept anything may it be comments, flames, especially corrections, questions, feedbacks, errors and (my personal favorite) criticism (harsh or light). _**

**_Please don't give me any suggestions for the story plot. I already have the story's detail in my head, so please don't send me any, because it breaks my heart to say no to a reviewer, seriously._**

_**With regards,**_

_**-A.K.**_


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